Today marks the beginning of Week Three of Social Distancing for my family. The first week was actually quite pleasant. It was our scheduled spring break anyway, so we spent the week being very relaxed. We slept in, watched movies, went for walks, and played games. But last week, the second week, the subtle difference between “being on spring break” and “passing time until we can go back to school” made the same relaxed atmosphere a lot less appealing. My oldest kid, 13, asked us to make sure they are up at a certain time in the morning, and they’ve started doing online school work. My youngest, nine, had a small breakdown and complained of being “stressed.” How can you possibly be stressed when there’s literally nothing for you to do? I thought. But that’s it: the prospect of at least two more weeks (probably more) with nothing to do is overwhelming and disheartening. So Wednesday we started writing out a schedule for her every morning. We set a time for her to do some reading and online math, designated times for her various chores, set a time for our daily walk outside, and identified large “free time” zones that needed some filling in. And things immediately got better. She hasn’t adhered to the schedule super closely, but she has a structure for her day. That structure, that control and sense of what needs doing, has been the difference between happy and “stressed.” It also means she’s better about completing those chores.

With that in mind, I want to take this time to share some resources for making your own Social Distancing time more useful and productive. Right now my social media feeds are full of memes, questionnaires, video recommendations, and projects. They’re largely aimed at a bored and slightly stressed audience. And those are good, there’s nothing wrong with that. But my fear is that the “answer these questions about yourself” and “share a photo of _____” mini-conversations are still grounded in passing the time and not making something of the time. Here are some suggestions for making something of the time.

(Lest I sound callous or completely tone-deaf, I recognize that there are millions of families who are not bored and passing the time, but are in fact overwhelmingly stressed. They’re facing real emergencies and crises. I’m not ignoring them, and I hope you and your family are doing everything you can to help those families as best you can. But I’m also assuming that people in a crisis right now aren’t reading college admissions blogs and that I’m speaking to a smaller audience who aren’t facing crises.)

How to change a habit. Now is a great time to change habits. And I don’t just mean that you may as well, because you’re stuck at home with nothing to do. What I mean is that, according to the people who study habits, when your normal routine changes in a significant way it has a trickle-down effect on all kinds of smaller habits and routines. Major life changes like starting a new job, moving, having a child, or other disruptions to your normal way of doing things can have a huge effect on habits that have nothing to do with the major change. Your brain is just good at forming new habits when your old “keystone habits” are disrupted. So if there are habits you need to change, this major shift in your routine is a great time, psychologically speaking, to do it. I say “change habits” for a reason. Stopping a habit is incredibly hard; starting a habit is incredibly hard; but exchanging a worse habit for a better one is manageable if you know how.

The person to ask about how to change habits is probably New York Times journalist Charles Duhigg. His 2012 book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business covers the psychology and practice of shaping our own habits and also how businesses and leaders who understand habit can shape our lives. If that sounds interesting, but you don’t have the time for reading a book right now, then this shorter version—focused on how Target can sometimes tell if a woman is pregnant before anyone else—may be better. If you just want to jump right into the steps that help you with your own habit, then this appendix, “How Habits Work,” is what you need. It’s all about cue, routine, and reward.

How to make meditation work. Meditation teacher and writer David Cain knows that one habit a lot of people are trying to work on, especially during Social Distancing, is to take up—or restart—meditation. His blog post “A Complete Guide to Actually Getting Anywhere with Mediation” is essential for anyone who is frustrated with their meditation practice. Cain points out something that’s obvious once I read it but had never considered before:

“Because meditation happens inside people’s heads, there’s no way to learn it by watching others, as we do with most other things. This makes the skill of meditation seem trickier and more mysterious than it really is.”

Beginning with this insight, Cain provides a roadmap to getting past the weird, am-I-doing-it-right phase and toward the this-is-life-changing phase. He doesn’t teach a specific meditation technique—there are so many to choose from—but gives a plan for how to successfully try any meditation technique and then, if and when needed, try a different one. He does link to some popular meditation techniques. Whether you want to have your life transformed by meditation or just have a slightly calmer life than you have at present, begin with this blog post before moving into your actual meditation.

How to get a grip on your phone. The Center for Humane Technology is group of tech developers and executives who are trying to influence both tech companies and individual users to think about apps and programs in more humane ways. They have a page of practical tips called “Take Control.” These people know how to help your phone become less addicting, because they are some of the people who developed the addicting tricks in the first place. There is also a page for students and parents with videos, presentations, and practical advice for making sure the phones don’t take over our lives.

How to get through this crisis. Sometimes we don’t need practical tips or specific suggestions. Sometimes we don’t need a checklist or a guidebook. Sometimes we need a few minutes of big-picture, almost philosophical ways to approach this crisis as a whole. When that’s what you need, the School of Life is ready. Their video for this week, “How to Get Through This Crisis,” is a four-minute reminder that this pandemic—and all disasters—aren’t breaks from how the world works, but a regular part of how the world works. It reminds us how to approach this as a wise and strong thinker. Just never mind all the pictures that show people being way too physically close. Six feet, people!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are two easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Ask a question—or share other resources—in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Zoe Herring.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.