I work at home. My wife doesn’t, and my kids go to school. So for a huge part of the day, I have the house—especially the office—to myself. I like it that way. I start every morning by tidying the desk and putting on whatever music I want. I have a quiet space to do my work or—sometimes—not do my work without anyone noticing.

As you know, that has changed recently. We’ve all four been in the house, all the time, for almost five weeks. My wife has often needed to shut herself into the office to do Zoom group meetings. My youngest daughter uses the same computer I do for her school work. While everyone has been very thoughtful and respectful about each other’s space and time, I just don’t have the control I’m used to.

And you know what? It’s been just fine. I’ve been more flexible and less irritable than I thought I would be. Not perfect, but much better than I thought I would be. I’ve learned that about myself this month. Curious, I posed a few questions to my friends and family on Facebook:

What have you learned about yourself in the past month? About how you work, or what you're good at, or how you relate to other people, or what some of your bad habits are? What will you do better when all this is over because of something you learned in isolation?

The responses were really insightful. Several have realized they’re more introverted than they thought, and have enjoyed, to some extent, the pause in their social obligations. Some have realized they’re not quite as introverted as they thought and are really ready to leave the house. Many, like myself, are learning about themselves as parents now that their kids are not going to school and they have to actively parent all the time.

(Let me go ahead and repeat something I said a few weeks ago: lest I sound callous or completely tone-deaf, I recognize that there are millions of families right now who are overwhelmingly stressed. They’re facing real emergencies and crises. I’m not ignoring them, and I hope you and your family are doing everything you can to help those families as best you can. But I’m also assuming that people in a crisis right now aren’t reading college admissions blogs and that I’m speaking to a smaller audience who aren’t facing crises.)

Now is a good time for college-bound students to do some similar reflecting. Of course you’ve been noticing things about yourself without me suggesting it, but I mean to spend some dedicated time to intentionally think about these things. Maybe these would be good discussions with your own family. Consider the following questions:

• What has been easier than you expected it would be? What has been more difficult than you expected it to be?

• What’s a bad habit of yours that has become very apparent this month? What about a good habit?

• What have you missed that you wouldn’t have expected to miss? What did you expect to miss that you don’t?

• Have you learned any new skills or discovered any talents?

• What interpersonal or communication skills have you improved?

• What are you most looking forward to doing when you’re able to go out more? What are you dreading?

• What is something that you’ll do better when all this over because of something you learned in isolation?

• How have you made a difference to others that you wouldn’t normally do?

• What do you need—physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually—that you aren’t getting right now?

• Is there anything in your home—physical or social—that you still have too much of?

• If we all have to do this again soon, what will you do differently before you go into isolation? What will you do differently during isolation?

• What has inspired you in the past month? What has profoundly disappointed you?

• What have people praised you for in the past month? What have people criticized you about?

• How is your isolation situation different than that of other people you know? In what ways do you think your experience may be different than what’s “normal”?

• Imagine this time as a metaphoric cocoon. Fill in the blanks: “I transformed from a _____ into a _____.”

• What, along with the Coronavirus, do you hope disappears this spring?

• What promises have you made to yourself about what you will do differently when this is over, and what are you actively doing to prepare yourself to keep those promises?

• What’s been the happiest moment in the past month? What’s been the saddest? The most challenging?

So what does this have to do with college admissions? In some ways, nothing. I really hope you don’t write an admissions essay about this time unless you’re specifically asked to. While it’s possible that you may have had some epiphany about what you want to study in college or do after college, you’re not likely to be asked when and why you decided on your new path. In a technical sense, spending time reflecting on these questions won’t affect your college list or applications at all. But underneath that technical sense, these types of questions mean everything. As I’ve said many times before and will say many more times, finding a college is like starting a good relationship. It’s impossible to be part of a good relationship without knowing about yourself, accepting yourself, and being able to express yourself. Self knowledge is the best kind of knowledge. I hope your reflection is enriching and rewarding, in a way that’s much deeper than a boost in your GPA or test scores. I hope you are, and remain, safe and healthy.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, here are two easy things you can do:

1. Share it on your social media feeds so your friends and colleagues can see it too.

2. Read these related posts: Resources for an extended time at home, Don’t write a Coronavirus essay, but act like you will.

3. Ask a question—or share other resources—in the comments section.

Apply with Sanity doesn’t have ads or annoying pop-ups. It doesn’t share user data, sell user data, or even track personal data. It doesn’t do anything to “monetize” you. You’re nothing but a reader to me, and that means everything to me.

Photo by Angela Elisabeth.

Apply with Sanity is a registered trademark of Apply with Sanity, LLC. All rights reserved.