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Take time to think about pleasure

What do I even say? We’ve been through months of a pandemic that has killed over 100,000 people in this country alone, and most experts agree it’s a matter of when the next wave will come, not if it will come. The unemployment rate in the U.S. has reached almost 15% and is expected to hit 20% before it begins to decline. The past week has seen a wave of anguish, anger, and fear in the streets of dozens of cities over the killing of George Floyd and the systemic racism his homicide reflects. It’s a challenge to be hopeful at the moment. 

So while there’s certainly some college admissions news out there—Dartmouth has gone test-optional this year, Catholic University has now gone test-blind, the College Board continues to tinker with the SAT and piss people off in the process—none of it feels especially important at the moment.

Except, of course, it is still important. Despite COVID-19, recession, and protests, despite a crash landing to this school year and unanswered questions about the next school year, millions of current high school students are still hoping and planning to go to college. So what’s the next step?

As I explained several years ago, I strongly urge you to think—deeply and in an organized way—about what brings you pleasure. Not just superficial fun, but deep pleasure

I understand if you don't normally associate college applications with pleasure, but perhaps you should.

The first and most important step to treating the college search like a relationship is to know yourself better. If you're going to really get what you want out of college, then you have to know what you want and need. And thinking about what brings you pleasure is one way of thinking about what you really want and need. It’s not that going to college is all about pleasure, but understanding your strongest drives and motivations will both help you find the right college and understand why you’re really there. Pleasure is just the opening to get you to understand your drives and motivations.

In my final few years teaching AP Literature to high school seniors, I assigned summer reading and also a summer writing assignment. What I asked them to write about was Pleasure:

Your task is to choose a single thing that brings you great pleasure and explain that pleasure in an essay.

Title your essay with a single gerund (“singing” or “skydiving,” for example).

Explain what the pleasure means to you personally, but also think about what is valuable about the activity in general. Why might others want to take up the pleasurable activity?

First- or third-person essays are fine, though first person will probably be easier.

Essays should be organized and correct in grammar and style.

Essays should be at least 1000 words.

I gave this assignment—and the class discussion that followed it—to help them get ready for their college application essays. When you understand that the application essay is really about explaining your interests and helping colleges get to know what your defining traits and qualities are, then you know that being able to think about (and write about) what brings you pleasure may be the best preparation.

The question I got the most from students: how do I get my title down to one word? I had several students tell me that "Yoga-ing" isn't a word. Some asked me how to differentiate "Gaming," as in video games, from "Gaming," as in gambling. Several athletes didn't like the fact that all sports get reduced to "Playing." But that initial frustration is necessary to understand the core of your pleasure. It’s best not to settle for your first, top-of-mind answer, but to dig deeper into the pleasure.

Which part of Yoga do you get the most pleasure from? Relaxing? Strengthening? Breathing? 

What about your gaming, whichever kind it is, appeals to you most? Strategizing? Adapting? Practicing?

What are your strengths at your sport? Focusing? Leading? Mentoring?

When you move past your initial response, working your way through this assignment can give you practice at both understanding your own pleasures and explaining them to others. Few skills will be more valuable over time than understanding yourself and being able to explain yourself.

One way to get deeper into your motivations and goals is to simply ask yourself “why?” over and over. Here’s a condensed version of a conversation I had with a student about a year ago in our first meeting. I asked him about one of his extracurricular activities at school, being the president of the Investing Club.

Why do you enjoy the investing club? I enjoy the actual content of it. There’s a thrill when you pick something and it does well. In knowing you were right. And why do you enjoy the thrill of picking something and seeing it do well? It kind of lets me...I like starting things. I get the same thrill out of starting something. I get to be a part of a bigger story. Also the research you do: if it pays off, that’s cool. And why do you like being part of a bigger story? I guess there’s this feeling of accomplishment. Not a lot of people are successful. Just being right about something, I guess. And why do you like feeling accomplished? Not a lot of people do it. I’m competitive. Like playing soccer with my dad when I was a kid. If he won, I got upset because I wanted to win. But if I won…I got upset because he let me win. It’s just something about proving yourself. I like challenges.

In just a few round of “why?” we went from the superficial fun part, making money from investments, to the deeper part of his personality that is integral to everything he does: a drive to prove his skill to himself and know that he built something. You can do the same thing for yourself by thinking about your own pleasure and asking why, multiple times.

It’s a bleak world out there right now. But for tons of students that’s a reason to get to college, not to abandon college plans. Taking time to think about pleasure, what brings you real joy and is essential to who you are in the world, isn’t escapism or fanciful thinking. It’s precisely what’s needed.

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  2. Read these related posts: Writing about your unique circumstances, Yes, you can write about that, What should I be doing now?

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Photo by Angela Elisabeth

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