Writing essays like a grown-up
When I was a high school teacher, I liked going to the Homecoming Dance and Prom. I didn’t go every year, but when I did I enjoyed them. Here’s one thing I always found fascinating: the transformation from kids to adults…for a while. Often students would arrive to the dance looking quite grown up. Suits and ties, fancy dresses, hair and makeup, fancy shoes. The grown-up look affected their behavior, too. I noticed how often even students who would never greet me with more than a grunt during a school day would want to shake my hand when they saw me at a dance. They were learning to be an adult, and I always loved that.
The funny part, though, is how different things were at the end of the dance. Ties loosened, shirts partially unbuttoned, and jackets in hand. Hair down in a ponytail and high-heeled shoes in hand. Grunts. The adulthood rarely lasted more than an hour or two. I’m not making fun of them or trying to be mean. We all, no matter our age, constantly work on adulthood through trial and lots of error. Seeing these early attempts at growing up on a daily basis is one of the joys of working with high school students.
This week I’ve been reading a lot of student writing as clients are finishing applications for November 1st deadlines, and I’m reminded of the same phenomenon. Students are pushing themselves to be more mature and professional in their writing, but there are a few clear signs—to those looking—that the maturity may not be complete. I’ve only noticed them through years of repetition, and I want to share some of those indications.
Four words I only see in high school research papers and college application essays. These four words I almost never see in any student writing, ever, in any context, except for research papers and college application essays, when the students are working hard to sound formal and mature. In those two cases, I see these words all the time. So very often.
Plethora. I get it. “A lot” doesn’t sound very professional and mature, and we use “a lot” often in everyday speech. So when we’re writing something that’s supposed to be more formal, it makes sense to try “plethora” instead.
Myriad. It means the same as plethora, and using it solves the same problem as plethora—avoiding “many” or “a lot of.” Myriad has the advantage of being both a noun and an adjective. So either “Myriad opportunities awaited me at the job fair” or “A myriad of opportunities awaited me at the job fair” works. Plethora is only a noun, so you would only say “A plethora of opportunities….” If you’re going to use myriad, make sure you use it the same way every time. Don’t go back and forth between adjective and noun.
Delve. This word originally meant to dig. Now it’s only used metaphorically: nobody ever delves a hole in the ground. They only delve into texts or memories, as if digging. And in college application essays, they delve often.
I’m not going to say don’t use myriad, plethora, or delve. You may be one of the people who actually uses them outside of research papers and college applications. You may intend to become a person who uses them regularly. That’s fine. But I do want to give you this warning: when you use these words, you’re more likely to sound like a high school student trying to sound more grown up than an actual grown-up. It’s a slight difference, but it’s there. If the difference matters to you, be careful using plethora, myriad, or delve. I see them often, but 99% of the time it’s in the context of a high school student trying to sound more formal. Not just 99% of the time I see them from students, but 99% of the time I see them ever. I don’t know many adults who use myriad, plethora, or delve in their writing.
There’s another word common in high school formal writing that I will absolutely tell you not to use: whilst. Whilst means the same as while. It’s very common to use whilst in the UK. It is not common to use it in the US. Throwing “whilst” into a sentence is like briefly slipping into an English accent in the middle of a sentence, which doesn’t make you sound more formal, smart, or grown-up. So use whilst if you’re British and use other words and spellings associated with British usage. Or use whilst if you’re being silly and having fun. But if you’re trying to sound more formal for something really important? Do not use whilst.
None of these are deal-breakers or application killers. Nobody gets accepted or denied admission to a university because of how they use (or don’t use) plethora, myriad, delve, or whilst. It’s not that big of a deal. However, if you’re specifically using a word for an effect you’re trying to achieve (“I’m a strong writer”), and using the word often produces the opposite effect (“You’re a high school kid trying too hard”), I feel like someone should let you know.
While (not whilst) we’re talking about things students do in college application essays to sound more formal, let me also warn you about semicolons. Here’s what I always say about semicolons: they’re like samurai swords. Just because they look cool is no reason to go slinging them around.
Just as you never really need to use a samurai sword, you never need to use a semicolon. Commas and periods will get you through life just fine.
Like a samurai sword, only use a semicolon if you’re absolutely positive you’re doing it correctly. Because semicolons are unnecessary, using them incorrectly always looks bad.
Even if you do know how to use a samurai sword or semicolon correctly, using it too often still creates the wrong tone. Use them sparingly, when you’re really sure it’s the best tool to use. It rarely is.
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