A few weeks ago an old friend got in touch. Her daughter, who is in the 9th grade, is feeling a lot of stress about college admission. Even though it’s still years before she’ll apply to college, she’s already feeling pressure—mostly from her friends and classmates—to build up her resume and be ready for applications. She’s hearing about people deciding to double up on math classes to look more attractive to colleges. She’s wondering if she should be getting started on test prep. She wants to know how to strategize about the “right” clubs to join and the “best” classes to take next year. My friend asked if I could talk to her daughter and help her understand if that’s realistic.
It’s not realistic. Those are not the things a 9th grader ought to be doing.
But I also understand that “don’t listen to what you’re hearing every day, and will be hearing every day for more than two years” is pretty unrealistic. So I talked to her daughter and we put together a plan. We decided to acknowledge that she’s in a place where there is pressure to begin college prep early, and we decided to find a smarter way to go about it than worry about every rumor of “what colleges want.” I put it into a single page that she can print and have with her—in a notebook at school, on her desk at home, or both.
I’m sharing that one page, and I’d like to explain some of it.
The overarching idea: get out of the “am I worthy?” mindset and treat college like a relationship. All of the discussions, whether formal or casual, about what colleges want, how to look good to colleges, and how to make yourself stand out to to colleges have at their core the “am I worthy?” mindset. This mindset believes that preparing for college is all about showing colleges that you are worthy to be accepted, and that acceptance from colleges is a validation of your worthiness. This mindset isn’t healthy, it isn’t realistic, and it isn’t useful. Instead, you have to think of it like a relationship. Consider what it is you want, what you have to offer, and how to make the most of both of those sides and grow as a person. This is what people really mean when they talk about “fit.”
A few guiding rules:
1. If the only reason to do something is because “it looks good to colleges,” don’t do it. If you want to take extra math or science classes because you really like the subject and are hoping to keep yourself challenged, that’s great. Go for it. If you want to join an honor society, do what it takes to join it. If you want to keep yourself occupied in a lot of different activities, because you have a lot of different interests, by all means do. But don’t do anything of those things just because you have a sense that “it will look good to colleges.” That’s a lousy reason to do something, because it takes up time and energy that can be spent on doing something that’s actually interesting and important to you. When you find out what colleges are looking for in an applicant you won’t find any of them asking students to waste time on unproductive activities. That’s actually the opposite of what they want.
2. Focus on the qualitative, not numbers. You’re a person, not a resume. It’s a cliche to say “don’t be another statistic.” However, way too many ambitious high school students work really hard to become statistics. They obsess over GPA, test scores, and the number of accolades they can list. Don’t make yourself into a list. Always be thinking about the quality and richness of your experiences, not the numbers.
3. It’s not the choice you make, it’s how you explain it.
4. The keys to success are time management and a meditation practice.
5. Not sure what colleges want? Ask them. People get their ideas about what colleges want from all sorts of places. They rarely get their ideas from colleges themselves. Want to know what a college is looking for in its applicants? Go to the college website. Go to the admission section. They will probably tell you what’s important to them. You can also search for the college’s Common Data Set to see exactly what’s required and important to them. Simply search “[name of college] common data set.” Go to section C, “first-time, first year (freshman) admission,” which will begin somewhere around pages 6-10. Here is an example of a Common Data Set. Begin at page 7. If you have a specific question about admission requirements that isn’t answered on the website or their Common Data Set, email the admission department at that school and ask. Don’t rely on information that isn’t first-hand from the college. Especially don’t rely on fourth-hand information that comes from your friend’s mom’s coworker who talked to “someone in admissions.”
To do:
Look at writing prompts. Discuss often. How would you answer them now, and how can you improve your answers over the next year and a half? If you feel the need to prepare for college applications early, begin with writing prompts, not GPA or tests. Make these sorts of questions common discussion topics among you, your family, your friends, and your teachers. Don’t actually write essays yet. But think about how you would answer the question now and how you like to be able to answer the question by your senior year. Here are some samples to get started.
o “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?” (from Common Application)
o “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.” (from Common Application)
o “Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?” (from Common Application)
o “Why are you interested in the major you indicated as your first-choice major?” (from UT Austin)
o “Briefly discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved.” (from Georgetown University)
Have five go-to colleges for looking things up. Don’t let “colleges” be abstract. Have several in mind, several that you’ve gotten to know. These don’t need to be colleges you will necessarily apply to—you have time to figure that out. But have a list to work with. Get on their mailing list; get to know their website; look them up in guides. Change as often as you like, but always have a list of around five. Here are some to begin with. I picked these almost randomly to get variety. A large public university and a small liberal arts college. Northeast, Atlantic Coast, Mid-west, and California. Places where you might major in art or major in business. Again, make your own list of five, but always have a list of five that you’re familiar with.
o University of Michigan Ann Arbor
Deepen your relationship with a mentor (including, if necessary, finding one). If you have at least one adult who is not a family member and who you can go to for advice, deepen your relationship with that person. Make an effort to talk to them more often and ask more questions. Discuss the essay prompts above with them. If you don’t yet have a mentor, whether formal or informal, think about how and where you might find one. Sometimes mentors just happen into your life. Sometimes you have to work to find them.
Read more texts, and read more difficult texts. By “text,” I don’t just mean books. Books are great, but they’re not the only kind of text. Whatever you like—books, music, art, video games, poetry, history, science, sports—spend more time with them, and push yourself to deeper understanding. The key here is to study what you love. Don’t only study things that are forced upon you, and don’t let the things you love only be passive distraction. If “study” and “things you love” sound like complete opposites to you, then you’re definitely not ready for college. The more you combine studying with the things you love, the more prepared you’ll be.
Want more? Some places to look for college advice and a better understanding of how the process works:
Newport, How to Be a High School Superstar
Notes from Peabody: the UVA Admission Blog
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