I’m a baseball fan. I go to around 20 regular season Houston Astros games a year. I also follow the Texas Rangers, my hometown team. Like a lot of people my age, I got into baseball watching the Cubs. They only played day games at the time, and WGN showed the games on basic cable. So a bored middle school kid in Dallas could watch a professional baseball game most any afternoon.
I was certainly aware of baseball as a younger kid, and even played one season at the YMCA. (I was really, really bad.) But as a kid, I had a very basic understanding of baseball. I thought the only goal of the batter was to hit a home run. To me, the other bases were just a kind of consolation for getting a hit that wasn’t a home run, and maybe you could still get to home plate if a player after you in the lineup hit a home run. I only understood the big hits that everybody cheered loudly about. It was a simplistic understanding.
But as I got older and started watching games regularly, I learned about all the ways teams win other than hitting home runs. I learned about base stealing, the hit-and-run, and how well-hit singles and doubles can make a huge difference. I learned to appreciate a player’s batting average. I learned to appreciate how important double plays are. I learned that even top home-run hitters get one homer every 10-20 times at bat. I learned to appreciate “small ball.”
I’ve come across plenty of people who think about college in ways similar to my childhood view of baseball. They’re focused on the home runs: getting accepted to famous and prestigious university. They think of colleges other than top-ranked “elite” schools as a consolation, as a type of loss. The standard way of categorizing colleges—reach, target, safety—reninforces this way of thinking, which is one reason I don’t like to use those terms. The idea is that you swing for a home run, which is acceptance to a well-known elite college, but that you might still make it to base with a target or safety school. And then, maybe, you’ll get lucky and still reach your life goals, though not as easily as you would having got into the “better” school.
Students (and parents), let’s expand our understanding. There are thousands of colleges and universities in the US, and at least 95% of them are not disappointments. There are so many ways to achieve your aspirations other than attending a top-100 college.
If you are ambitious and looking for the home run, that’s fine. But please understand that the home run isn’t everything, and it may not happen—it probably won’t happen—and you have to be prepared for what else is out there. You need to find the academic equivalent of hustle, taking risks, watching the signs, and being a team player.
A runner on first base can still score a run. A runner on first can still score the dramatic, game-winning run. A runner on first can still be the MVP. But not if they see being on first as a loss. If you’re not going to your first-choice college, remember this lesson. You can still get what you want. What did you want from that prestigious, “elite” college to begin with?
Prestige? Wherever you're going, they'll have a Dean's List, honor societies, and awards. Go for it.
Social connections? Unless you accidentally applied to a monastery instead of a university, there will be people who want to do fun things with other people. There will be clubs, there will be friendships, there will be parties. The people you bond with will go on to do interesting things after college, and many of them will still consider you a friend and an important part of their lives. You'll still consider many of them a friend and an important part of your life.
Career Opportunities? Your school will have some version of a Career Services office. Start going to that office your first year of college. Look for advice, internships, and opportunities.
Leadership roles? You've probably heard a quotation from one of Shakespeare's greatest plays, Twelfth Night: "some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em." If you're upset that you didn't get into your top-choice school, you may be feeling like you definitely weren't born great. But the other two options are still very available. You've got this.
Personal fulfillment? That happens independent of where you go to school. And 99% of the work is actively done by you, not something you receive from teachers or opportunities. This short-term disappointment may be exactly what your personal fulfillment needs.
I don’t want to discourage anyone from aspiring to a prestigous university with a low acceptance rate or applying to one. By all means make that a goal. But please be wise about that goal. The point of a university is to graduate prepared for an active place in the world; the point isn’t just to get accepted to “the best one possible.”
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